Do you still look? Do you stare at the weather channel through your fingers with your hands over your face as the man says, “snow, snow, snow?” Do you sit glued to your television, compelled by the same morbid curiosity that forces you to look at an accident when you are driving down the road?
Do you ignore it? Do you curse at the weather man? Do you, as I may do right now, sit on the floor of your kitchen staring into bare cupboards and weep?
The Californians and Floridians must be laughing their asses off right now. Earthquakes and hurricanes don’t hold a candle to the maelstrom Old Man WInter has dropped on the rest of the country this year. Superbowl in New Jersey. Awesome call.
So if you are one of the lucky few who has managed to avoid Winter Storms–Atlas, Boreas, Cleon, Dion, Electra, Falco, Gemini, Hercules, Ion, Janus, Kronos, Leon, Maximus, Nika, Orion, Pax, Quintus, Rex, Seneca, and the impending Titan–well than God Bless you, and are you perhaps interested in a home swap this weekend?
People who have spent the last four months duking it out over loaves of bread, fake logs, milk and eggs, are teetering on the edge. Titan? I am scared of this storm and I haven’t even mustered up the courage to look at The Weather Channel predictions. I. Simply. Cannot. Look. This is not a great weekend for another storm.
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